A few days ago, I was reading The Pocket Thich Nhat Hanh (2012), and I came across some surprising (and very helpful) reflections on the connection between understanding and love: "Without understanding, love is impossible ....If you don't understand the suffering, the difficulty, the deep aspiration of another person, it's not possible for you to love them. So it's very important to check with them and ask for help." (pages 137 and 140)
Specifically, Thich Nhat Hanh suggests that a person should seek to find words to ask their child, their friend, their partner, their spouse, their co-worker, or their neighbor, "'Do you think I understand you? Please tell me so that I can love you properly.' That is the language of love."(p. 140)
Further, he proposes that "loving one person is really an opportunity to learn to love all people. If you have the capacity to love and to understand, you can do that now, you don't have to wait."(p. 139)
Thich Nhat Hanh and Jesus grew up in different cultures, followed distinct spiritual pathways, and lived on earth in different millenia. Yet they shared an insight that understanding and love go hand in hand, whether we are seeking to love God, one another, or ourselves.
Professor Michael Lee's full reflections on Matthew 22:34-46 can be found in Connections: A Lectionary Commentary, Year A, Volume 3, pages 420-422, 2020.